my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So much rum. So many feels.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize