I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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