My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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