very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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