So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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