she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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