drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize