Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i drank out of a bidet.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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