Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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