i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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