i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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