The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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