is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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