it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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