Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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