do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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