There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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