CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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