It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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