insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize