: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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