Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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