Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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