Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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