I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize