I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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