You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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