a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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