Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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