he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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