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I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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