right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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