plz talk dirty to me
I'm going to jail i love you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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