But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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