how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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