I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
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How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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