we made out on top of his cat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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