God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
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he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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