Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize