no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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