apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize