thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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