Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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