that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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