I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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