I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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