When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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