i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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