She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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