It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize